I like to move it move it

Today was the first day of the running part of my training program. I was nervous and was thinking about it alot last night. Would I even be able to do the 30 seconds running interval? What if I hurt myself the first day? Was this just a crazy idea? It didn't help that I ended up staying awake until 2a.m. reading a book instead of getting much needed rest. With only 3 hours of sleep under my belt the day started like most others: wake up the boys, feed the boys, clothe the boys, drop boys at school.

Now the youngest one stays home with me until preschool starts at 1 so usually I have a shadow throughout my morning. But it would appear that the nasty cold bug has bit my little midget. He fell asleep on the couch and all was quiet in the house. That was not good. When it's quiet I can hear myself think. When I can hear myself think I tend to overthink things that I should probably just let go but don't. I obsess, thinking about the things I should've said or should've done. I start working myself up feeling angry and disappointed about a situation that really I should just let go. By the time lunch rolls around I'm pretty keyed up, tired, and slightly dreading the impending run.

After dropping off my revived midget who ate lunch and seemed to perk up when given ScoobyDoo fruit snacks I headed over to my parents house (aka the retirement villa). After stretching a bit, putting on my now fully functional mp3 player (yay for charging!) and I opened the front door and took a deep breath. I can do this.

I figured I shouldn't just hop out the front door and start the first 30 second run interval. So since I had mail to drop on the mailbox I quickly walked to it and figured that was a good warm up. Using my cell phone I found the stopwatch function and hit START.

The first running step felt weird. I can't describe it. I felt like I was limping quickly. I could definitely feel that my right knee is weak and I'll need to work on strengthening the surrounding muscles on my cross training days.  Next thing I knew the first 30 seconds were over and I was walking again for my 1.5 minute interval. Ok not too shabby, I didn't fall. And it went from there. Run 30 seconds, Walk 1.5. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. Don't fall. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. Don't fall. As it went each run interval got a little easier. I found a rhythm that felt comfortable, not that limpy stiff gait that I had in the first 30 seconds, something that I imagined felt like running. I mean, I've never run before so I wasn't sure how it would feel but I assumed it must feel like this, or something kinda like it.

I did my cool down by walking back to the villa, feeling good. I was sweaty but thankfully today was a rare cool day in the desert with a high wind so not as bad as I'm sure I'll be come the end of June. As I walked home I realized that the anxiety and tension that had filled my head all morning was gone. While I was running all I focused on was putting one foot in front of the other (and not falling). It didn't matter what else was going on in my life, for those 20 minutes my only focus was movement. It was freeing. That anger, anxiety, tiredness wiped off of my brain with the basic instinct to move the muscles, tendons, and sinews of my body to propel forward and keep going.

It's been about 3 hours since the run. My body is definitely letting me know that it is not amused. I'm sore but not the bad type of sore one usually endures with Arthritis. The bones don't hurt. The muscles are sore and tired. If they could talk, and they sometimes do, I think they are saying "What the HECK are you doing to us? What is this? Are you insane?!" But so far the joints are staying quiet. My mind is also quiet. Still relishing those 20 minutes of stillness that rarely happens in my mind. I remember watching people run when out and about. I would always interpret the expressions on their face of a person who is upset, in pain, preoccupied. But now I think that while I'm sure some of them were in pure agony, there were some that were just of the single mind of focusing on moving the right then the left foot. Moving forward, moving their bodies, just moving and nothing else.